Black Powder Monologue Diary

Chapter 36 35 Do you want to be with me 1

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At that moment, Ji Shanye looked at Lin Yu, his heart seemed to be slowly filled with warm water and swelled up.He had never felt this way, so in that quiet moment, he decided to make the scene in his dream come true.

Originally, he wanted to develop step by step, but he didn't expect to kiss her first before he confessed.Then all plans were disrupted.

But that's good too, let's go faster.

"Do you want to be with me?" Ji Shanye asked him.

"I don't want it." Lin Yu shook his head and refused without thinking.

"why?"

"I don't know what you mean. If you just want...to sleep with someone, I won't accept this kind of relationship." Lin Yu looked up at him quickly, then quickly lowered his head: "Although, I know you guys The showbiz may be quick to see this relationship, but I don't accept it either."

"I don't want...don't be your sex friend. If you have physical needs, go find someone else." After Lin Yu finished speaking, he looked at Ji Shanye's face, but Ji Shanye's face was not good-looking.

"Who do you think I am?" His voice was low.

Lin Yu stopped talking.

"When I say being together, I mean falling in love, the same kind of falling in love as ordinary people. If I want to fall in love just because of physical needs, then I can find a safer person instead of you. Outsider."

The atmosphere was too quiet, Lin Yu felt that every pore of his body was in an unnatural atmosphere.

"I've made it very clear, do you want to be with me?" Ji Shanye asked again.

"No." Lin Yu still shook his head.He didn't look at Ji Shanye's face anymore, he lowered his head, and took a step back involuntarily.

Lin Yu was just a little scared. What he experienced that day was too unreal. He was instantly dragged to another strange world by Ji Shanye, which was completely different from his previous life.He felt that Ji Shanye was out of his mind, he must be crazy to say these words.

Lin Yu himself has no plans to fall in love in the past two years, his studies have not yet finished, and everything in the future is uncertain, how to fall in love.What's more, the object is a star like Ji Shanye, their worlds are so different, how could they be together?

The atmosphere was silent for too long, and Lin Yu was a little embarrassed. He thought that he dared to reject Ji Shanye's No.1, but he really felt that everything was too unrealistic.

"Sorry, we are not suitable." Lin Yu whispered.

After a few seconds of silence, Ji Shanye suddenly asked him: "Do you like me?"

Lin Yu looked up at Ji Shanye, and he found that Ji Shanye's expression was very calm, and he didn't feel embarrassed when he was rejected.

It was the first time Lin Yu thought about the question Ji Shanye said, or in other words, he had always ignored it.

Does he like Ji Shanye?Ji Shanye was the only one in Lin Yu's eyes. He remembered the kiss in the dressing room, and when he recalled it carefully, he didn't seem to be too repulsive except for being confused.

Immediately afterwards, he suddenly remembered the time when he first met Ji Shanye, he always appeared in his dreams with a fierce face and blood all over his body.

However, that seems to have been a long time ago.The trembling nightmares of those years, the crying over and over again when asked to recall by the psychiatrist, all became less scary as time passed.

Lin Yu's silence made Ji Shanye feel anxious, he took two steps towards him, and asked again: "I just ask you, do you like me?"

"I don't know." Lin Yu said.

Ji Shanye looked at him, and let go of his hand after a while.

"I'm sorry." Lin Yu felt as if he had made Ji Shanye sad.

Ji Shanye smiled, and after a while: "It's okay, do you have your own choice, I respect you."

"I know the reason why you will reject me. After all, we don't know much about it. You must have a lot of worries. But in fact, you don't have to rush to push me away. I still hope you will think about it."

"If after a while, you still have the same idea now, then I won't mention this matter again in the future."

"it's OK?"

Ji Shanye's eyes were so sincere that Lin Yu didn't feel uncomfortable at all.He seems to always be able to grasp the degree of interaction between people, even if it is such an embarrassing situation that the confession is rejected by others, he will not make the relationship between the two of them so embarrassing.

"I see." Lin Yu said.

Ji Shanye stood in front of him, and he smiled at him: "Okay, you should rest early. After I finish talking, it's time to go."

Lin Yu nodded, watching Ji Shanye put on his hat again and went out.He stood at the door, but Ji Shanye never left, just stood and looked at him.Lin Yu felt that he seemed to want to say something, so he also waited.

But in the end, Ji Shanye just said go to sleep and left.

21

Ever since the conversation that day, Lin Yu consciously wanted to keep a distance from Ji Shanye.

It's not that he doesn't want to see Ji Shanye, nor does he hate him.It's just that I don't know how to face Ji Shanye for a while.

He still can't figure out why Ji Shanye likes him. In his opinion, he has many shortcomings.He is too indifferent to others, and his personality is sometimes not very pleasing. The only advantage may be that he has a good face.

But would Ji Shanye be the kind of person who looks at his face?He is a star. In the environment of the entertainment industry, he has never seen many beautiful people.Will he like himself because of his face?

What's more, there is one more important thing.It was also the main reason why Lin Yu rejected Ji Shanye.

He's still seeing a psychiatrist, he's a sick man.

Although, in the recent period, he almost forgot about that past experience.Dr. Zhang also said that he is slowly improving.But that doesn't mean it's over.

Lin Yu always remembered how painful it was when he had an 'onset'. The physical pain was mild, but the mental torment was the most important.

Can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

I saw the classmates in the class laughing at him in a group, saying that he was a coward.Covering his head and roaring wildly, the next second, he opened his eyes again, only to see the whole class quietly doing self-study, and everyone looked at him strangely.

Seeing his father waving a knife at him, he trembled with fright.Then after a few seconds, I found that I was still at home and there was no one around.

These are things that often happen in high school.

Lin Yu gritted his teeth and persisted until now.

He didn't know what Ji Shanye would think of himself if he knew this.But he felt that there was always a difference between himself and Ji Shanye.

Ji Shanye is the charming son of heaven, and the worlds between them are too different.

Ashes to ashes, ashes to ashes, it is only appropriate to put similar things together.For a person like Ji Shanye, the other half should also be a dazzling star.

Even if the other half is Tan Ling, she will be much better than herself.

Lin Yu felt a little ridiculous. He used to think that the two of them were unworthy, but now he completely changed his mind, and it was because of this reason.