After wearing a paranoid bamboo horse of abusive male protagonists

Chapter 36

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He will not let his love cause trouble to Chen Chen.

Song Qingshi was in a bad mood all day today, and as soon as he came back, he lay on the bed facing the wall without saying a word.

Seeing him like this, Lu Yanchen knew that he was affected by Ye Xiaonan's affairs. After all, he was fifteen years old, and he kept asking him about love affairs before, so he should have realized that he belonged there. The reaction of my father and classmates must have been terrified.

He wanted to comfort him, so he sat by his bed, touched the hair on the back of his head lightly, and said softly, "What are you thinking? No matter what you think, you can tell me."

Song Qingshi didn't respond, and still maintained the posture of lying on his side facing the wall.

Lu Yanchen didn't urge him, but just stroked his hair, like smoothing the fur of a kitten.

I don't know how long it took before Song Qingshi finally turned around slowly like a snail in a volute, his dark eyes were wet, there was some water vapor in them, and there was still a tear hanging from the corner of his eyes, as if he had been abandoned by someone. A puppy on the side of the road said helplessly, "Chenchen, is homosexuality really so disgusting?"

If this is the case, then could he and Chenchen never be together...

He didn't want Chenchen to be said that way. Chenchen should have gone to his school safely and smoothly.

If he becomes a disgusting existence in the eyes of others because of him, he can't stand such...

All along, he seems to have taken it for granted, because he likes Chenchen, so he wants Chenchen to like him too, so he always teases him.

But is his liking for Chenchen necessary for Chenchen?

It seems that Chenchen can live a good life without his own liking. After all, Chenchen is so good, and there are many other people in the class who like him. In the end, I am just closer to Chenchen than others, and I understand him better than others. It's just a courtier, is it true that their liking is not as good as your own liking?

If they are so close to Chenchen, they may not necessarily do worse than themselves, maybe they will do better than themselves...

He didn't know until today that his liking was a burden and burden to Chenchen...

Then he can't like Chen Chen anymore?

But how could he not like him, Chenchen was so close to him and treated him so well, how could he control himself from not liking him?

Song Qingshi really didn't know what to do...

Lu Yanchen was stunned for a moment, he bent his fingers to wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes, but the eyes that looked at him became softer.

The child finally told him about it. Since the second year of junior high school, he has been secretly asking him about love affairs. He should have discovered that he is gay at that time.

But I never told him, probably because I was afraid that he could not accept homosexuality, so I kept it in my heart.

What kind of psychology did he have when he found out that he was gay? Did he ever feel helpless?

If it wasn't for what happened to Ye Xiaonan today that frightened him, he doesn't know how long he will keep this secret in his heart.

Lu Yanchen comforted him and said, "No, homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality, it's just that the sexual orientation is different."

Song Qingshi said with red eyes: "Then why..." Why did Ye Xiaonan's father and classmates react like that, as if they were some harmful things, avoiding them like snakes and scorpions.

Lu Yanchen said: "Because we are still too young."

Song Qingshi stared at him with red eyes in confusion, not understanding what he meant.

Lu Yanchen explained to him: "Because we are still too young, we only come into contact with people in two places near our home and school every day. We are all in a small circle, and the information is too closed. I don’t understand what homosexuality is, and because I don’t understand it, I’m afraid and repelled.”

Song Qingshi asked in a daze: "Then won't you be hated when you grow up?"

Lu Yanchen smiled, and said to him: "You can't say that, there are always some people in this world who can't accept homosexuality, even if they are not gay.

But heterosexuals, or other people, can't make people all over the world like him. As long as they are human, there will always be people who don't like him in this world, but we can't focus on these dislikes. As for our people, as long as we do our own thing well, there will always be people who like us. "

Lu Yanchen stroked his hair and comforted him: "When we grow up, we will go to college or go to work. At that time, we will meet people from all over the world, and we will be surrounded by people who grew up like us. If we meet more people and open our minds, we won’t reject homosexuals as much as we do now, and of course there will be people who reject them, just leave them alone.”

"When we grow up, we will know that there are only a few important people around us, and most of the others are insignificant people, so don't pay too much attention to them."

Song Qingshi looked at Lu Yanchen in a daze, and when Chenchen said this, it was as if he had grown up.

"Of course, it may not be so smooth, and you may encounter setbacks, but many things in the world are not so smooth, you just need to follow your heart." Lu Yanchen took his hand and said: "No matter what Either way, I'll be on your side."

Song Qingshi looked at him for a while, and couldn't help laughing: "Chenchen, you seem like a grown-up."

He hugged his waist and buried his face in his stomach.

Chenchen said that no matter what, he would stand by his side.

Originally a wandering and helpless heart, now it has miraculously settled down.

As if the future is not so bleak...

However, he still couldn't give up on Chenchen, he felt that he liked Chenchen more and more, and wanted to take him as his own more and more.

Such a good minister, he doesn't want to give it up to others...

Lu Yanchen hugged him, stroked his back, and said, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah." Song Qingshi raised his head from his belly, looked at him with clean and bright eyes as if they had been washed, and said, "But Chenchen, I seem to be gay too, what should I do?"

Lu Yanchen looked at him and said, "Let's be gay, there's nothing to do."

"En." Song Qingshi showed a small smile on the corner of his mouth, and buried it in his stomach again.

……

In the middle of the night, Lu Yanchen was already lying on the bed and fell asleep. At this moment, a human-shaped shadow fell on him.

Song Qingshi squatted at the head of his bed, looked at him without blinking, tracing his facial features inch by inch.

His eyes were gentle and calm, and the previous impetuousness faded away, as if he had grown up a lot overnight.

He understands what Chenchen said to him, maybe he can fall in love when he grows up, but not yet.

Because they still can't get out of the current environment, they still have to go to school, they still have to go to school, and they still have to get along with the students around them...

So from now on, he must never let others discover his homosexual identity, and never let others discover that he likes Chenchen...

He will not let his love cause trouble to Chen Chen.

Song Qingshi stood up, leaned closer to Lu Yanchen, and kissed him on the lips, but a tear fell from the corner of his eye.

From now on, he will restrain all his actions, hide his love, and not be discovered by anyone.

He can do it.

The next day, when Lu Yanchen got up, he heard a familiar voice saying: "Morning, Chenchen."

He turned his head and looked over, only to see that Song Qingshi had already changed into his school uniform, leaning against the bed, his eyes were clear and transparent, like a piece of pure water without any impurities.

From this day on, Song Qingshi never pestered Lu Yanchen to sleep with him, nor clinged to him sticky, nor fed him like a little wife, or kissed him on the chin.

Even though they were still as close as ever, it always felt like something was different, like... real brothers.

The author says:

The next chapter is the university chapter.

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

University articles◇