Valkyrie Returns

Chapter 86 Compatibility 100 Questions

After finally recording the grueling interview at the media company, Qin Jiu and Xiao Wu returned home exhausted, only to find that Lu Bu and Xiu Yuan had left this world through the void, probably tired again.Since Lu Bu was promoted to immortality, such things happened almost every day, so Xiao Wu didn't think there was anything wrong with it.First of all, as a secret guard raised since childhood, his habitual thinking is that whatever decision Hou Ye makes is right.If not, please refer to the previous item.

What's more, he was just left in a strange time and space with his concubine. Anyway, martial arts and small attacks are all there, so even if he keeps doing three hands, he will not be discovered at all, okay?Celebrity is really a thankless and funny job. As a real-shadow guard, burglary and so on can be caught in minutes, okay?Not to mention that he also has a former young master of the Demon Sect, Xiao Gong, who has a violent force value.

So even if Xiao Wu doesn't understand this era at all, he is happy and has no worries at all.That's right, there is a 24 filial piety dog ​​Gong by his side, who can cook, do laundry, and make money all by himself.Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes, okay?That's right, as a tsundere (pseudo) mensao (true) little shou, you must have such a happy life, it is very worthy of 32 likes, you are simply a winner in life, okay?

However, Tang Xiaowu, the secret guard who wins in life (false), hunger, thirst, prostitution (true), has only one trouble is that he doesn’t even need to eat by himself. Will it become a third-degree disability?The idle egg hurts (false) the chrysanthemum is itchy (true) and the supporting actor Tang Xiaowu made a wise decision - to go to Jiangjiang Media to record the sequel of the previous program.

I will tell you secretly, I just want to use pornographic topics to attract Xiao Gong's attention, and at the same time satisfy my ulterior (false) happy (real) chrysanthemum feeding plan?That's right, as a tsundere (pseudo) Tang Xiaowu, he must be so awkward, he can't embarrass his own Hou Ye by setting up a broken body, and he can put on the old-fashioned and stubborn secret guard shell in minutes to make people face!As a real male supporting role without pressure, he must be so domineering (false) and hungry (true)!

When 24 Xiao Qin Xiaogong drove to the set slowly in a second-hand classic car, the person who came to receive them was not Yuji Juzi, who was very familiar with the crew of "The Return of the Valkyrie", but a man wrapped in black tights. In the clothes, a stranger who looks very perverted at first sight!

Tang Xiaowu, the brain-filling and complaining emperor, was so happy in an instant that his character design collapsed!Damn it, it's impossible for Jiangjiang Media's reporters to be so obscene, it must be because I'm thinking too much.Isn't this restrained and evil attire really going to take us to experience some small black house game with a fresh style?As a loyal subject, I must not be looking forward to multiplayer games. As a irascible subject who wakes up every day and beats Xiaogong, I really am not looking forward to strangely shaped sex-interesting props ah!

Damn, the brain hole is too big, I can't take it back at all, now I want to take off my Xiaogong's clothes and kneel and lick his swollen eight-pack abs every minute!It is impossible for my life to be so distorted. It must be that the screenwriter suddenly went to the wrong set. In an instant, I was young and fresh (beep) and had a special liking for ancient literature and art. I can't afford to hurt the ghost animal plate of the Celestial Dynasty!The useless screenwriters of Jiangjiang Literature City, do you dare to follow the plot carefully?

But there is such a handsome ghost animal reporter, just thinking about it makes me look forward to today's show.No embarrassment at all!I must have been spoiled by the stupid screenwriter.It's impossible for the dark guard's character to be so broken!Could it be that I was suddenly pierced by lewd-slutty souls?It doesn't feel too bad, does it?There are even faint expectations!Every day when he sleeps, he wants to use Xiao Gong's hidden weapon to pierce his little brother or something, it can't be more cruel!

"I'm Xiang Kong, the actor with facial paralysis, and I'm here to complete the follow-up interview on the theme of pornography on behalf of my second-hand Yuji orange. I hope we can cooperate happily with each other." The elite with facial paralysis dressed in a seductive and tight-fitting leather suit While pulling Xiao Wu into the small black room, he introduced himself with a blank face.With the vulgar dark stage special effects, it will scare people to death every minute, okay?Tang Xiaowu sat on Xiaohei's sofa with a dull expression, and Qin Jiu nodded with a relaxed expression: "After this interview, the contract of prostitution between me and Xiaowu can be completely terminated. People are well maintained.”

The elusive narrator: "You guys have already destroyed the human settings a hundred and eight thousand miles away, okay? A bunch of idiots."

51 May I ask whether you are the attacker or the recipient?

The actor with facial paralysis spoke again, his voice was deep and mellow, with a bit of confidence typical of a mature man, and he caught Tang Xiaowu's attention as soon as he spoke.He answered very positively: "I'm the receiving party." The ignorant smile on his face instantly made Qin Jiu's face darken, and he interrupted Xiao Wu through gritted teeth: "I'm the attacking party."

The actor with facial paralysis didn't care about the subtle atmosphere in the room, and quickly moved on to the next question:

52 Why did you make such a decision?

Xiao Wu: "For a stupid and cute bastard, it will be a lot easier to be a small subject. Can you imagine a fan theater with a stupid and cute actor as the male supporting role? Can you kill the audience every minute?"

Qin Jiu: "If you love him, you have to fall for him. As a hidden black-bellied strong attacker, you must never let the counterattack succeed."

Compared to Yuji Juzi's trembling in the face of Qin Jiu's aura, the actor with a paralyzed face was obviously able to cope with it. He just nodded calmly and moved on to the next question without interest:

53 Are you satisfied with the current situation?

Xiao Wu: "Of course I'm satisfied. This kind of setting couldn't be easier. Even if you don't have any acting skills, you can pass the test properly and won't be ng? It can't be easier to get paid just by whining on the bed twice! You don’t understand the bitterness of Little Transparent! Film kings and winners in life are so annoying, they should be dropped by unspoken rules every minute!”

Qin Jiu meaningfully swept Xiao Wu down on a certain part of the sofa, touched his chin with a happy expression, and replied briefly: "Very satisfied."

The actor glanced at Xiao Wu thoughtfully, with a clear expression, and calmly turned to the second page of the interview:

54 Where was your first h?

As if recalling something pleasant, the smile on Qin Jiu's lips became more obvious: "I'm in the small courtyard that Jiangdong bought."

The actor waited for a few minutes, but didn't hear Xiao Wu's different answer, so he continued with a paralyzed face:

55 How did you feel at that time?

Xiao Wu replied indignantly: "It's really terrible, okay? Even if a dark guard with good martial arts foundation is repeatedly ravaged, the fragile little chrysanthemum still wants to die! There is a weapon-big-live-good- I can't afford to be hurt by the official supporting role! If you follow the original plot in the fan script or something, life is so dark!"

Qin Jiu leaned towards Xiao Wu, stretched out his hand and lifted his chin and kissed him on the spot: "It's been so many years, you're still so awkward, obviously you were having a good time at that time, and you were entangled with me from morning till night. I don’t know who is that person who doesn’t want to be separated from the waist for a moment? As a male supporting role, how can you lie to the reporter without permission? Are you just trying to find an excuse to be punished by me once? Duplicity is not what you say It's really very attractive!"

Xiao Wu blushed and turned his head away, quickly refusing: "How is that possible."

The elusive narrator silently clenched his fists and praised wildly in his heart: "That's right, my little shou must be so cold and ruthless, so that he can be classy, ​​and the soft and cute little white shou has long passed his temper, okay? Now Jiangjiang is everywhere Fine-pointed and high-cold. I can’t find a little white drama that I can watch a little bit, okay? I can’t be stupid to lose my value.”

The actor with facial paralysis was anxious to go home and make out with his little shou. He felt that this question wasted a little more time, so he decisively moved on to the next question. It couldn't be more shady to destroy the public for personal reasons, or maliciously destroy his little shou's image in the workplace.I really want to imprison that bastard at home all the time, and develop a taboo game. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water, okay?Although his heart has been filled with pornography, the actor is still fine-pointed without any pressure. Don't guess at the paralyzed thoughts, refresh the lower limit of the world view every minute, don't be too cruel!

56 What did the other party look like at that time?

Xiao Wu: "Sweating profusely and turning into a beast, tearing the chrysanthemum apart every minute. It's just terrifying!"

Qin Jiu: "Gentle and tactful, full of laughter, delicate and soft, lingering and infatuated..."

Xiao Wu calmly slapped Qin Jiu hard: "You bastard, your design is ruined, are you sure you didn't steal those adjectives from Zhen Huan's biography? Lingering and infatuated, your sister, hypocritical! Go back and kneel down on the keyboard for labor and management Go, it's just embarrassing!"

Seeing that the situation is not going well, the film king quickly throws out the next question. Being irritable and awkward is really not my cuteness, but my own bastard is cuter. Why is this god-like interview draft getting longer and longer!Qiandu must be a black hole!Spying on other people's dicks from morning to night, it can't be more wretched!

57. What is your first sentence in the morning at the beginning of the night?

Xiao Wu: "Asshole, hurry up and make breakfast for labor and management."

Qin Jiu was very cooperative, and he raised his neck and let out a miserable cry: "Ah——"

The actor quickly turned off the recorder, and then quickly turned it on again:

58 How many hours do you have every week?

Xiao Wu: "It's so many that labor and management can't remember clearly, okay? Practicing martial arts diligently and so on is really digging a hole for yourself. You will faint every minute or something sickly in your arms. I can't be more envious."

Qin Jiu stretched his arms with an idiotic face: "Come on, my chest is ready for you at any time, no matter how many times you want to faint, I will definitely catch you."

The corners of the actor's eyes twitched slightly, and he complained frenziedly in his heart: "Did you really go to the wrong set? Aunt Jiayao's special show is next door, okay? The IQ of these two people is so low that you can't bear to look directly at them, okay? Are they swollen? Could it be that the director’s choice is based on unspoken rules? This circle is really getting more and more chaotic! Is it okay to be silly and confused about romance? The audience in Jiangjiang must be crying silently in their hearts! It’s worth being waxed !"

The face with facial paralysis is good, even if the heart has been hit and riddled with internal injuries, the expression is still perfect without any flaws, it must not embarrass oneself, it is simply the conscience of the facial paralysis world!

59 How many times a week do you think is ideal?

Xiao Wu covered his face silently, Qin Jiu looked proud: "Of course I stayed on the bed all the time! Get on! No! Get off! Come on!"

This answer was a bit high-powered. The actor with facial paralysis subconsciously opened his mouth slightly, then quickly closed it tightly, and moved on to the next question. They must not be distracted by them. The human design collapsed!That's right, as an elite facial paralyzed Gong is so witty.

60 So, what is h?

Qin Jiu smoothly pushed Xiao Wu down on the large sofa, raised his eyebrows and chuckled, "Want to demonstrate on the spot?"

The actor waved his hand calmly, and turned the page of the interview again:

61 Your most sensitive place?

Xiao Wu: "Behind the ears, behind the neck, behind the back."

Qin Jiu: "Adam's apple, chest, soles of feet."

I don't know what came to mind, the actor with facial paralysis suddenly became anxious, and quickly moved to the next question:

62 What is the most sensitive part of the other party?

Xiao Wu: "Armpit, lower abdomen, and bent legs."

Qin Jiu: "Tip of tongue, j□j, chrysanthemum."

The actor was a little puzzled, and asked casually: "Why are the answers to the same two questions completely different?"

Xiao Wu cast a contemptuous glance at the movie king, with undisguised sympathy on his face: "Of course it's because there are too many sensitive points, can't tell the whole story? Poor bastards who haven't been developed can't afford to be hurt! Can you really be happy with all h skill points?"

The actor felt a little embarrassed and skipped to the next question:

63 Use one sentence to describe the other party at h?

Xiao Wu: "Elegant and wild, fierce and gentle."

Qin Jiu: "Awkward and docile, fresh and sexy."

The elusive narrator: "Aren't you really filling out the test papers for antonyms? What kind of cheating answer is this? Could it be that before the end of the world, the Jing-fen emperor has silently ruled the world? Jing-fen is a disease." It must be cured!"

In order to avoid losing face again, the film king decisively ignored the self-contradiction of this answer, and calmly skipped to the next question:

64 Frankly speaking, do you like h?

Xiao Wu: "Of course I like it. I only have one thing left to do, okay? It can't be more miserable to have a loyal dog with 24 filial piety! If you don't like the only one thing, you will kill yourself in minutes Here you go, bastard!"

Qin Jiu: "Everything is meaningless without h, okay? If you don't like h, do you want to like destroying the world? Is it really okay for a winner in life to ask such a weird question? If you are invited to the bureau for tea, you must Don't call me."

The film king gritted his teeth, and couldn't refute because of the live broadcast, so he had no choice but to suppress his anger and move on to the next question:

65 In general, where is h located?

Xiao Wu stared at the actor's corset leather jacket thoughtfully: "Is it not just my imagination, do you really have a special taste? Why don't you just lie on your bed at home and do this kind of private thing? Do you want to perform in the street! Do you want to be so shameless!"

The film king was hit by an arrow in the knee again, speaking so fast that he almost bit off his tongue:

66 h places you want to try?

Xiao Wu glanced sideways at Qin Jiu, and violently punched him in the stomach.Qin Jiu silently shut up.

The elusive narrator: "The answer to this kind of question must be all places, okay? The film king is really the most ruthless, and he can't even think of such a thing."

The film king didn't even care whether he got the answer or not, he just wanted to go back and make out with his own bastard, and skipped the next question or even the next question without any guilt:

67 Is the shower before h or after h?

Is there any agreement at 68h?

Xiao Wu was dizzy and drowsy from the actor's sudden speed of speech, and suddenly heard a very angry topic, and angrily punched Qin Jiu a few times.

69 Have you ever had sex with someone other than your lover?

Seeing that Xiao Wu was poked against Ni Lin, Qin Jiu could only let him beat him obediently, and didn't even dare to mobilize his internal strength to resist.

The narrator who was hiding in the room, in order to avoid a murder in his workplace, had no choice but to continue asking questions on behalf of the actor who bit his tongue when he spoke too fast:

70 What is your attitude towards the idea of ​​"If you can't get your heart, you should at least get your **"?

This question is so cruel that Xiao Wu even forgets to look at the narrator's uncharacteristic profile when he beats someone up.Qin Jiu waved domineeringly: "Next question!"

The actor put three words in his mouth, and his voice was ambiguous, making people wonder if there was something wrong with the equipment in the recording studio: 71 If the other party is jjjed by thugs, what would you do?

Qin Jiu gritted his teeth and crushed the glass on the table into slag with internal force: "Is this impossible? That idiot Lu Bu is not interested in Xiao Wu. Quickly next question, there is an interview with the little white film king who has unspoken rules The host is really tired!"

The actor's knees were already broken and he couldn't fight back, so he didn't care anymore.Just puff up your cheeks and continue reading the interview:

72 Do you feel embarrassed before h?or later?

Xiao Wu angrily pushed the actor away: "Waste material, this kind of question is a waste of time, okay! You'll be stunned every minute, and Happy and Big Big Wolf are about to start?" Xiao Wu gave full play to the hand speed of a master of hidden weapons Flipping through the interview script quickly, Qin Jiu was very cooperative and read out the questions. Of course, there were no answers to these.

73 If a good friend said to you "I'm lonely, so only tonight, please..." and asked for h, would you?

74 Do you think you are good at h?

75 What about the other party?

76 What do you want the other party to say at h?

77 Which kind of expression do you like the other person when h?

78 Do you think it is okay to have sex with someone other than your lover?

After the two of them quickly skipped over many questions, the narrator finally took back the interview manuscript with a look of anxiety on his face.Xiao Wu tremblingly shrank into Qin Jiu's arms and pointed at the narrator's pale side face, his teeth chattering: "You bastard, are you a human or a ghost?"

The narrator was very calm: "It's neither a human nor a ghost. Continue to the next question. Don't be lazy!"

79 Are you interested in sm?

Xiao Wu casually poked Qin Jiu's neck with a silver needle: "Actually, I have always yearned for those with superb skills. After all, my family's Xiao Gong is so capable. It would be a pity not to make good use of it."

Qin Jiu hugged Xiao Wu with a doting look on his face: "It's not a problem at all if you don't know how to do it, as long as you like it, you can practice it for as long as you want."

Xiao Wu was so happy that he wanted to poke the silver needle into Qin Jiu's shoulder, but he accidentally bounced the silver needle out with too much force, and it just landed on the knee of the actor who just woke up from a coma. The actor closed his face tightly with his face paralyzed When I closed my eyes, I wanted to pretend that I hadn't come to my senses, but I didn't expect to fall asleep after being too involved in the drama, and even snored happily.

The narrator throws the actor out with a miserable face, and shifts to a new question eeriely:

80 If the other party suddenly stopped asking for your body, would you?

Xiao Wu: "Consciously go to the bathroom to take a shower."

Qin Jiu: "Take off your clothes silently."

The narrator couldn't grasp the key point of this kind of answer that deviates from the main line, so he had to continue to the next question with great reluctance:

81 What do you think of rape?

Xiao Wu (looking up and making a good student sign): "Isn't this a little fun of role-playing in the lover's world? Like horse thieves and teachers?"

Qin Jiu nodded unprincipled: "Of course it is, but I like the story of the Heavenly Emperor and the little flower demon more. Maybe I can touch the little round tail."

The narrator calmly changed the topic: "Please don't discuss too much about things that have nothing to do with the interview. This is a live broadcast."

With Xiao Wu in his arms, Qin Jiu calmly adjusted his posture on the sofa, and the narrator satisfactorily moved on to the next question:

What is the more painful thing in 82h?

Xiao Wu: "Isn't pain-suffering the same as joy? Are you sure this question is really not just making up numbers?"

The narrator angrily tore open the interview script, silently getting further away from these two abnormalities:

83 In the h so far, which place makes you most excited and anxious?

Qin Jiu finally found a chance for Xiao Wu to stop tormenting his body, and hurriedly answered: "In the horse farm in Mobei Grassland. On the back of a group of wild horses."

The narrator nodded sympathetically: "Che-Zhen Saigao, Wild-fit!!"

84 Have you ever been seduced by the recipient?

Xiao Wu answered as a matter of course: "Must have, Xiao Gong has such a good figure, he wants to touch his abs anytime and anywhere, he must not embarrass the idiots."

85 What was the attacking side's expression at that time?

Xiao Wu's unreasonable Dai Ju Qinjiu replied: "A face of enjoyment."

86 Has the attacker committed violent acts?

Qin Jiu calmly kissed Xiao Wu lightly: "This kind of shameful role-playing game is completely a welfare."

87 What was the recipient's reaction at that time?

Xiao Wu proudly raised her chest: "The whole body is soft, and I can't stop being so happy."

The narrator's lower limit instantly shattered, and he slid into the abyss, weakly continuing with the remaining questions:

88 For you, what is your ideal "as an h object"?

Xiao Wu pointed at Qin Jiu calmly: "Of course he is like this. As for how to describe it, please feel free to describe it. I don't think it's wrong at all. Anyway, he is a black-bellied (false) fine-point (true)."

89 Does the current partner meet your ideal?

Qin Jiu was moved by Xiao Wu's unconscious love-words, completely turned on the idiot mode, and nodded frantically.

The narrator covered his eyes to speed up the progress:

Did 90 use small props in h?

Xiao Wu habitually took out a hidden weapon from Qin Jiu's waist: "Small props are completely stress-free for us, okay? All handmade and patent applications are definitely a model for the entire crew."

91 When did it happen to you for the first time?

Qin Jiu was very sensitive to his own black history, he decisively pushed Xiao Wu down on the sofa, and diverted his attention with frenzied fierce-tongue-kisses.

The narrator silently covered his eyes: "Bastard! Damn! Xiu Enai dies so fast, even a Piao must not have the eye of a needle! Since this kiss quickly aroused the desire of the two, they The two took advantage of the opportunity and rolled wildly on the sofa full of local tyrants. The narrator finally couldn't hold on to such a 24-ban bloody blockbuster, and was helplessly emptied of the blood tank to die! This interview can only be done in the end. Jiangjiang Media broadcasted it publicly. As for who and where the empty-blooded narrator was taken to, that is another new story that people like to hear.