detour

Chapter 19

When Zhuang Shaodong opened the door and came in, Su Chengze was already busy preparing dinner in the kitchen.Old duck soup was simmering on the stove, and when the door was opened, the aroma could be smelled in the corridor.

Although they didn't live together formally, he still had the keys to Zhuang Shaodong's apartment, but so many things happened recently, both of them were not in a good mood, and Su Chengze hadn't been to his place for a while.Tasting the rare fireworks in the room at this moment, Zhuang Shaodong's mood suddenly became a little complicated.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Su Chengze poked his head out of the kitchen and smiled at him, "Are you back? You can eat with one more dish. You should take a shower first."

Zhuang Shaodong answered vaguely, turned and went into the bedroom.When he came out after taking a shower and changing clothes, the meal was already set on the dining table.In addition to the ginseng and duck soup in the casserole, there are two hot dishes of beef tenderloin with pepper and broccoli with garlic, two cold dishes of shredded chicken in red oil and crispy purple cabbage, all Zhuang Shaodong's favorite food.

The euphemistic meaning of reconciliation is self-evident.

Zhuang Shaodong looked at Su Chengze's slightly eager expression, then looked at the chopsticks in his hand, and quietly swallowed the words gathered on the tip of his tongue.Even if you have something to say, don't be in a hurry in these few minutes, let's talk after eating in peace.

Zhuang Shaodong sat here thinking about it, but he didn't notice that Su Chengze's expression had slowly dropped.Sometimes the two parties in a love relationship do not need to use language to communicate.

Su Chengze flicked his chopsticks back and forth in the bowl, and finally lost his temper, "Do you have something to tell me?"

Zhuang Shaodong paused for a while in picking up vegetables, and then slowly put down the chopsticks in his hand.In fact, he felt a little regretful. Just a few minutes ago, he had decided to finish the meal peacefully.It seems that for some things, the plan can never keep up with the speed of change.

"I wanted to wait until after dinner." Zhuang Shaodong wiped his hands with a tissue, and frowned slightly, "You have also stayed in Sanjian, and you have heard of Honeywell's attack on the buyer's technicians. training?"

"What?" Su Chengze was stunned. Zhuang Shaodong's style of talking about business affairs was too different from what he expected to hear, which inevitably made him a little bit overwhelmed.

The corners of Zhuang Shaodong's mouth pursed slightly, perhaps because it was easier than he imagined to start this conversation, and his expression was not as stiff as before, "Honeywell's six-month closed training. The company I plan to send two people out, and I won a spot for you."

Su Chengze's thoughts were disturbed by this news and became a mess.What's the situation?Simply want to send him abroad for training?still……

Zhuang Shaodong glanced at the slightly confused expression on his face, and unconsciously turned his eyes aside, "You are still young, and I can also feel that you are still very interested in this industry. Since you want to be technically If you have improved, you must know how to cherish the opportunity to go out to study.”

At this moment, Su Chengze had sorted out the meaning of what he said, and finally showed an expression on his face that looked like he was about to cry, "Zhuang Shaodong, it's just a word of breaking up, you have to use such a complicated way express?"

"It's not just as simple as breaking up." Zhuang Shaodong looked at him with gentle and calm eyes, "I hope that I can provide a little help to your life before we separate. I also hope...you can have a more reliable future."

Su Chengze stared at him blankly, and repeated the term that made him feel suffocated as if he didn't understand, "Future?"

Zhuang Shaodong looked at him, "I don't want to talk about being friends in the future. Ze, I just think this training is very suitable for you, and you also need such an opportunity to calm down the impetuousness in your heart, and then let yourself stand up again .You and I are both men, and we both understand the importance of career..."

"Why?" Su Chengze interrupted him almost roughly, "Why are you telling me this now?"

Zhuang Shaodong stared at him and said softly, "Because I don't want to lie to you."

Su Chengze's tears flowed down.

"Don't cry." Zhuang Shaodong pushed the tissue box over, with a hint of helplessness in his soft tone, "Don't cry."

Su Chengze choked up, "It sounds like you are thinking about me. But Zhuang Shaodong, have you really thought about me? You just announced your decision unilaterally. Have you ever thought about my feelings?"

Zhuang Shaodong fell silent.How do you think about this kind of thing to be considerate of each other?The vague goodwill that brought them together at the beginning has disappeared little by little since when. As they become more and more familiar with each other, the shortcomings hidden under the surface become more and more obvious, and gradually become intolerable.But in just half a year, the exciting image when we first met has changed beyond recognition.

When Zhuang Shaodong reflected on this experience, he also asked himself, what was it about Su Chengze that attracted him back then?good looking?Compatible personality?Can you still cook?These seem to be reasons, but these reasons alone are not enough to support a relationship, not enough for them to continue to maintain this close relationship.

Zhuang Shaodong recalled the moment when he first met in a trance. At that time, what did he think of?Then wishful thinking that what he was looking for was buried in Su Chengze's soul?

In the end... who did you remember?

There was a strange throbbing in his heart, Zhuang Shaodong almost panicked and refocused his attention on the tearful young man in front of him.

"I'm not unilaterally announcing any decision." Zhuang Shaodong hoped that he could look more sincere, and he didn't want to give Su Chengze a rash impression.In fact, he doesn't think he's playing any emotional games either, "I just feel like our relationship has changed - it's not something that doesn't exist if you don't tell me and I don't tell you. I don't want to lie to myself , and I don't want to deceive you."

Su Chengze's wet eyes showed grief, "But I don't want to leave you, I don't want to end the relationship, I don't think the problem between us is serious enough to break up."

Zhuang Shaodong shook his head, "Ah Ze, I don't want to delay you."

"Delay?" Su Chengze buried his face in his palm as if he lost his strength, "Why didn't you just say that you fell in love... fell in love with someone else?"

Zhuang Shaodong didn't make a sound.He didn't know how to refute his words, because he wasn't even sure if he liked the feeling of worrying.

"Why?" Su Chengze was almost angry, "Why is it him?"

Zhuang Shaodong couldn't answer.He also wanted to catch someone and ask: Why him?Why does it have to be this man who hates him?Why do you find out that your so-called disgust has quietly deteriorated in the long attention when you feel that you are too late to regret?

"I don't know." Zhuang Shaodong scratched his hair in some annoyance, "Who can tell such things?"

Su Chengze laughed wryly, "Has it reached this level?"

Zhuang Shaodong fell silent.He also couldn't answer this question.

"Why is it him?" Su Chengze asked unwillingly, "What is it about him that attracts you?"

Zhuang Shaodong's mind flashed the big boy wearing a white shirt with clear eyes a few years ago.He stood in front of him with stubborn eyes, suppressing his anger.His hands were clenched into fists on both sides of his body, and he asked himself word by word: Why do you dictate my private affairs?What does this have to do with you?He stared at himself, those watery peach blossom eyes were incredibly bright, as if there was a flame burning in the depths of those pupils, one could burn himself just by looking at it.

Zhuang Shaodong rubbed his face, and said in a low voice with some difficulty: "I don't know."

"Don't know anything?" Su Chengze sneered, "I'm so fucking wronged to lose."

"What's the point of winning or losing in this kind of thing?" Zhuang Shaodong looked at him a little tiredly, "What if you lose? So what if you win?"

Su Chengze was stunned.

Yes, so what if you win?

"In the future, you can no longer take care of each other like before. You have to become strong, no matter what happens, don't be too impulsive..."

"Fuck you!" Su Chengze kicked the dining table, turned around and walked out.