my private life

Chapter 14

As the school registration time approached, my mood became more and more conflicted.

These days, some classmates come to me to play from time to time, and they all envy me for being admitted to the ideal university.I am also very happy to talk and laugh with them, and I am very excited about the upcoming new university life.

In the dead of night, Xia Jingyi would naturally be thought of.When I think of her sweet and soft embrace, I feel a kind of sadness that I can't let go of.In order to prepare luggage and some daily necessities, I did not go to Xia Jingyi for several days.

One night, I secretly ran downstairs to call her, and talked to her about some trivial matters in the past few days.She seemed to be absent-minded, just grunting and haha ​​coping.The warm words accumulated in my heart were swallowed back because of her indifference.

The night before my departure, I went to her house.When I went out, my mother also complained that I didn't spend the last night at home with her and my father.

This holiday, I went to see Xia Jingyi far more times than I stayed at home.After hearing this, I also felt that I was a little ignorant, but the guilt was only temporary, and my heart had already flown to Xia Jingyi's side.

After this walk, we will meet again after four months.On the day of separation, there will be many things that I cannot predict and cannot cope with.

I made an excuse that Dr. Xia had studied for nine years from university to Ph.D., and she had the experience of living alone on campus.I asked her to ask what things I should pay attention to at school.

Anyway, my mother was busy selling breakfast the next day at home, so she didn't have time to sit down and chat with me about my future college life.Besides, my mother only pays attention to my food, drink, and monthly living expenses, and she doesn't understand other things.

My mother never objected, but told me to come back early the next day.Now, my father is also half-laid off. The factory is closed and the workers go home, waiting for the next specific arrangement.My dad has nothing to do when he gets home, so I don't need to help sell breakfast every morning.

Because it was Friday, Xia Jingyi got off work early.She said she was going to take me to a special place for dinner.But I prefer to go to the hospital cafeteria so that I can go home early.Our last evening, I don't want to waste time on unnecessary things.

But she insisted on going to the restaurant, saying that I must like the place she took me to.We went to a coffee shop.This is the first time for me to visit this kind of leisure place.The environment in the store is indeed elegant, and Clayderman's piano music is melodious around the ears, making people's originally impetuous mood calm.

Xia Jingyi ordered steak, pizza and red wine for us.I like to eat pizza, but I have never eaten authentic products like Pizza Hut. I can only afford "imitations" in small shops near the school.

Drinking the red wine in the goblet and listening to the soothing and smooth piano music, I realized that my T-shirt and jeans looked nondescript.Especially compared to Xia Jingyi, who is elegant and beautiful in a dress, my attire and behavior are obviously not on the same level as hers.I'm just an ugly duckling through and through.

I want to end this "feast" as soon as possible and go home.It's only at home, when the two of us are alone, that I don't feel lost about the gap between us.

Xia Jingyi seems to like and enjoy being in the coffee shop.She talked and laughed with me in high spirits, and at the same time raised her glass frequently, as if she was not doing it for me, but more like celebrating my departure.This made me feel a little unspeakable awkwardness.

I also don't like those guests in suits, leather shoes, greasy hair, and noodles. They will be attracted by her beauty when they pass by our table, and they can't help but look at her a few more times. Fan.I hate those lewd eyes, but she didn't seem to see the greedy eyes, and she tasted the steak and wine calmly.

After eating, she ordered two more cups of black coffee.I followed her example and didn't add sugar or partner to the coffee, and I almost spit it out when I drank it.Coffee is more bitter than traditional Chinese medicine.

She smiled slightly at my embarrassment.I rolled my eyes at her and whispered, "Don't laugh at me, or when I get home..." I made a face at her, presumably she knew exactly what I would do when I got home.

"You're getting bolder." She raised her eyebrows disdainfully, and flirted with me with a low smile, "Do you just want to go home? Don't shake your head in denial, your expression has already exposed your smallness." Mind. You're a little rascal."

The wine and coffee made me very excited, I leaned forward as much as I could, and leaned towards her across the table, "I'm a bad guy, and I'm only bad to you." I still didn't forget to give her a smirk.

She looked away at the night scene outside the window and pursed her lips happily.Her appearance was heart-warming, and I said impatiently, "Let's go home. I'll be leaving tomorrow." When I thought of parting, I was happy for a second, but immediately became infinitely sad.

Under the catalysis of alcohol, the sadness fermented rapidly, and I tried my best to hide the tears in my eyes and not let them flow out.

She still saw the change in me, she sighed helplessly and said, "Let's go."

Sitting in the taxi, I kept holding her arm tightly, leaning my head on her shoulder, as if she would disappear if I let go.

As soon as I entered the house, before I had to change my shoes, I hugged her and kissed her desperately.I want her to remember me, this sad and passionate night.

I propped her against the wall and unbuttoned her dress while kissing my hands.Don't let her break free from my grasp.I panted slightly and stared at her blankly, my eyes were moist.

She patted my face and said, "Okay, why don't you just walk for a few months, why do you look like you are dying. I don't like you, Fanfan." She pushed me away to change shoes.

I was a little embarrassed by what she said, and I also felt that my appearance just now was very indecent.When taking a shower, I deliberately suppressed the desire in my heart~ I didn't want to see her.

"Unhappy again?" Xia Jingyi stood under the shower and touched me with her elbow, "Don't look at you being reluctant to leave now, when you go to school, the new environment and new friends will make you forget me."

I didn't answer her words right away, but hesitated for a moment and watched her recite aloud, "I want to know you well, a long life will never end, mountains will have no edges, rivers will be exhausted, winter thunders will shake, summer rains and snows, heaven and earth will unite. Dare to break with the king." This is an ancient poem I learned in high school.When I was studying, I didn't know tenderness, I always felt that the person who wrote this poem was a little sour, but when I heard myself say it like an oath, I was actually moved.

She was stunned, her eyes became extremely soft, and then she smiled with the corners of her mouth raised.I stepped forward and hugged her smooth body~, buried my face in her shoulder, "I don't want to leave you." My voice trembled.

She stroked my hair without saying a word, and it took a while before she comforted me, "I'll go to Beijing to see you if I'm free in a few days, okay? Besides, we can talk on the phone."

I raised my head and looked at her, trying to confirm the truth of this statement from her expression. "Can I call you every day?"

She quickly regained her composure and said with a smile, "As long as you can remember to call every day, go for it."

I always feel like she doesn't believe my sincerity towards her.I also know that words alone are not enough to express my inner feelings.As soon as we got back to the bedroom, I pinned her down who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

Her legs were hanging on the floor, and her upper body was lying on the bed.I parted her legs, half-kneeled and buried my head in that warm private place.She never resisted and let me do all this.

I couldn't see her expression, I could only hear my gasping and her suppressed groans.

Over and over again, I asked frantically, without giving her a chance to rest, as if only in this way could I be freed from the sadness of parting, as if only non-stop games could show my love for her.

"Fanfan, Fanfan. Don't." It wasn't until Xia Jingyi's begging voice sounded that I woke up from the excitement and madness.The sheets were soaked and I was sweating profusely.

I climbed onto the bed and hugged her tightly, who was also sweating profusely, as if I wanted to embed her into my body.At this moment, any language seems so pale, I would like to hold her silently like this all the time.Until the end of time.

That night, I don't remember what we said afterwards.We just hugged each other and fell asleep.

The next morning, I was awakened by my mother's phone call.I got up and saw that it was already 09:30, and Xia Jingyi was still lying beside me.

My mother asked me to go home early, my grandma and uncles came to see me off, and the family had to have dinner together at noon.

In the shower, I'm embarrassed by how crazy I've been last night.I ran over and hugged her and whispered, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She glared at me angrily, "I won't let you drink in the future, it seems like you've been beaten with chicken blood." I laughed sheepishly.

After packing myself up and knowing it was time to say goodbye, my heart and legs were heavy.She counted out a few hundred yuan bills from her bag and handed them to me, "Take these money, you are a big girl now, it's time to buy yourself some beautiful clothes."

I don't want her money.I pushed her hand back, "I can't ask for your money. My mother has prepared living expenses for me."

She was a little anxious after hearing my refusal, she glared at me and said, "Why can't you take my money? Be obedient and take it, or I will get angry." She handed the money to me again.

I dodged back and leaned against the wall.I really don't want to spend her money.I can safely take the money my family and relatives give me, but I can't take her money.

"Hold it!" She stepped forward and put her arms around my waist, coaxing me in a slow voice, "Hey, give it to me when you earn money later, okay?" She took advantage of the situation and stuffed the money into my trouser pocket.

Her soft voice made my heart tremble, and I bit the corner of my mouth for fear that I would burst into tears. "I won't see you off in the afternoon. Come on, your mother is still waiting for you." She let go of me and turned her face away.

I secretly let out a long breath, trying not to sound trembling in my voice, "I'm leaving, I'll call you."

She didn't speak but nodded quickly, as if impatient.I understand that she does not want to see such a sad scene of parting.

As soon as I walked out the door of her house, tears rolled down my face uncontrollably.