my private life

Chapter 10

Dr. Xia, oh, I can no longer call her by this title. Our relationship goes beyond doctor-patient, and also breaks the sister relationship I always hoped to be.

We are lovers?Probably not, at least not before last night.We didn't start dating, but there was a skin-to-skin relationship between us that only lovers can have.What am I to her, I don't know.

After that incident, she hugged me in her arms and quickly fell asleep, but I was so stimulated by the scene just now that I didn't feel sleepy.Close your eyes, your ears are full of her strange voice.

Although I've never been in love and don't understand human affairs, and I know a little about the relationship between a man and a woman from novels and TV, but I never thought that this kind of relationship can also happen between a woman and a woman.I actually feel guilty.

I finally fell asleep amidst the excitement, confusion and apprehension, but my sleep was very restless, and I woke up several times for no reason at night.In the morning, I woke up from a dream that was entangled with psychedelic entanglement when I fell asleep, opened my eyes and disappeared.There was a bright light from the window, I turned my face to look at Xia Jingyi secretly.She slept peacefully lying on her side, breathing evenly, like a real version of Sleeping Beauty.I really want to kiss someone who is sleeping.

Thinking of her charming voice at night, I was afraid, worried that she would open her eyes and turn against me, asking me why I did such an obscene thing.We drank a little beer at dinner last night. Maybe it was under the stimulation of alcohol that she led and encouraged me to do that kind of thing.Once she wakes up, will she deny it and put all the responsibility on me?After all, I was tormenting her, and I took advantage of her.

The silence in the room increased my uneasiness, and I could not lie down any longer, so I crept up.

She seemed to have heard me, she moved her body, and said in a very vague voice, "Fanfan." But her eyes did not open.

"I'll go back and help my mother out of the stall." I whispered quickly, for fear that she would wake up and keep me again.Fortunately, she didn't respond and continued to fall asleep.I got dressed three times and two times, without bothering to wash up, and went out like a thief fleeing.

Walking on the deserted street, I woke up completely when the cool breeze blew in the morning.The weird thing that happened in that dark room last night made me feel even more unbelievable and unforgivable. I quickened my pace to go home, and I felt that all the passers-by on the road were looking at me with strange eyes.I don't think I'll ever come to her again.

I didn't go to my mother's breakfast stand, but went home directly.There is no one at home, I need to be alone and think quietly.Besides, I don't want to look lost in front of my mother, and she will see the clues.

After returning home and taking a shower, I sat at the table and thought about the recent incident between Xia Jingyi and me bit by bit.Several times she looked at me with ambiguous eyes, and kissed me to test me.Why didn't I reject her?This is what confuses me even more.

If we talk about the previous few times, her speech and behavior were not explicit, and she deceived me, an ignorant girl, but when she pressed me to kiss me last night, I was fully capable of pushing her away. The fact is that I not only Catering to her intimacy, and actively following her guidance.

I like her, I long to be near her, and I like what I did with her last night.This is the conclusion I came to after thinking over and over again.Reason tells me that no matter how tempting the one-night stand is, no matter how much I like Xia Jingyi, I should break off ties with her and never see each other again.

After making the decision, I felt a lot easier.But as night fell, I looked at the sky outside the window and felt more and more lonely in my heart, and I missed her.I think about her body, about her voice, about what I did when I lay on top of her...

These uncontrollable crazy thoughts overturned the decisions I made during the day.To calm myself down, I take a cold shower.But the cold water that gave me goosebumps all over my body failed to extinguish the desire ~ fire in my heart.

I looked at myself in the mirror, but Xia Jingyi's body was in my mind.This night, I lay on the bed tossing and turning, because I didn't have a good rest last night, I felt very tired, but when I closed my eyes, I saw Xia Jingyi's light~naked appearance in the shower.I wish I could slap myself that shameless face.

The next morning I went to help my mother sell breakfast, so that I could have something to do and forget about Xia Jingyi.When it was time to eat at noon, I began to prick up my ears and wait for the phone to ring.I thought she might call me.

Restless, I waited until the afternoon but still didn't wait for her call.I picked up the receiver a few times and wanted to take the initiative to call her, but several times I pressed the receiver while hesitating.Later, I ran to the canteen downstairs and dialed her cell phone number from a public phone.

Soon Xia Jingyi's pleasant voice came from the other end of the phone, "Hello, who is it? I'm Dr. Xia Jingyi, talk to me!"

I held my breath and stood and pressed the receiver tightly to my ear. I wanted to say "I am Fanfan", but the four words were stuck in my throat and could not be uttered.

"Fanfan?" The voice in the microphone made me even more panicked, and I pressed the phone with a bang.Looking up, I saw the curious eyes of the aunt in the commissary.

I didn't go home and wandered the streets alone trying to calm myself down.Apparently she guessed it was me, but her voice sounded lifeless.She likes me doing those things on top of her, otherwise she should have found me and berated me as soon as she opened her eyes.

She likes to make me want her.This thought made my just calm mood throb again.In my wild thoughts, my feet took me to the door of the hospital without knowing it.

In order to prevent the familiar nurses from seeing me, I found a remote corner and stared at the hospital gate from a distance, hoping to see Xia Jingyi's figure.

I don't know if it's because she doesn't go to work, or there are too many people coming in and out. It's past the off-duty time, and my neck is sore and tired, and I haven't seen the person I longed to see.I thought about going around the dormitory, but I was worried that she would find me.In the end I went home disappointed.

On the third day, I was almost overwhelmed by the tide of missing. No matter what I was doing, I was thinking about her, wondering whether I should go to her.Originally, I thought it was a shameful or even a guilty jj, but it has turned into an indescribable soft jade, soft and fragrant, soft and charming.

My mother saw my ecstasy and thought it was because I was on vacation and had nothing to do at home. "I'm so busy that I can't leave. You can go and see your grandma in the afternoon."

My grandma lives in a rural village tens of kilometers away from the urban area. Every summer I go to the countryside to live for a few days. "I won't go." I refused without thinking.

"Didn't I fill out my volunteer application yet? Besides, I still have to wait for the admission letter." I explained with a guilty conscience.

My mother naturally thinks that my going to college is the most important thing for the whole family, and I can't delay it, so she doesn't rush me anymore.

I didn't go to visit my grandma, but I found Xia Jingyi's grandma's house.This afternoon, I didn't even bother to look for the class teacher, so I directly filled in the application form.

After that, I felt that I was going crazy, so I went to find Xu Lina.Xu Lina didn't study very well, and she didn't expect to go to college at all, so she was looking for all kinds of people to play with during the whole vacation.

The reason why I went to Yu Lina was to hear news about Xia Jingyi from her.Soon I induced Xu Lina to tell a lot about Xia Jingyi's family.In fact, most of these words were said by her in the hospital before.But I still think it sounds very fresh, as long as it is about her, I like to hear it.

"How about, let's go see her grandma," I thought, maybe I could meet someone there that I both longed for and feared to see.

"There's something wrong with you. If we're bored, let's go play games. Why go to see her grandma?" Xu Lina was in disbelief at my nonsensical suggestion.

With an ulterior secret in mind, I pretended to be serious and found a reason for myself, "Haven't I never seen a courtyard house? Besides, you said that her grandma is an old beauty. I wonder how beautiful she is. Could it be that she is more beautiful than Dr. Xia?" Pretty? You can still visit your grandma."

Anyway, we were all bored, so Yu Lina agreed to my request and took me to her grandma's house.In the end, I was very disappointed. It was an unimaginably dilapidated courtyard, and several old ladies were sitting and chatting in the courtyard.Xu Lina's grandma and Xia Jingyi's grandma are both shriveled old ladies.No trace of former beauty can be found in the wrinkled face.

The two of us stood behind a few old grandmas, listening to them talk.Xu Lina told her grandma that I am Xia Jingyi's patient.The old grandmas raised their heads and squinted their eyes to look at me.

"Your granddaughter isn't married yet? How old is she? She's almost thirty." asked one of the not very old grandmas.

"No, I'm already 28. Someone introduced her to a man a few days ago. The young man is good-looking, but she thinks he's not an official, so she doesn't have the ability not to look for him." When Mrs. Liu spoke, I saw She has several missing teeth.

I thought of that handsome guy.It turned out to be Xia Jingyi's partner, it seems that I guessed correctly.I hope they keep talking about this topic.

"Jingyi, come and see me in a while." Mrs. Liu's words made my heart tighten. If it wasn't for Xu Lina, I really wanted to run away. I don't want Xia Jingyi to know that I am asking her everywhere. personal circumstances.

"Let's go." After staying for a while, I urged Xu Lina to go home quickly. "I just forgot, my mother asked me to go back and help her buy vegetables, and she is still waiting to use them."

On the way home, I was thinking, is it because Xia Jingyi likes women and doesn't want to get married and finds an excuse not to fall in love, is she really dislike the poor and love the rich?However, for me at the time, this question did not belong to the category of serious thinking. I was more thinking about the skin-to-skin contact with her.

Because recently my father's factory is also clamoring for layoffs, and my father goes to the factory early every day.My mother's breakfast stall and I help cook.

On the morning of the fourth day, I was serving a customer a hot steamed bun on the table, when I looked up, Xia Jingyi was standing there looking at me.