Black Powder Monologue Diary

Chapter 66 Chapter 65

==================

21

2021. 11, 2

I asked the teacher for a five-day leave, and I have to go down the mountain to do other things these days.

One is because of work, there are several data that require people to go to the laboratory in city B to communicate with the person in charge.Also because I have an interview with a psychiatrist.After I told him about my recent situation, he was a little surprised and said that my recovery was better than he thought, and he strongly suggested that I have an interview with him.

Then, I went back to City B.

In fact, going back is the same as not going back. I can't stay in city B for long.A round trip from Fuya Mountain to City B took me a lot of time on the way.In addition, it takes two days to go to the laboratory to communicate the data, and half a day to meet with the psychologist. I don't have much free time for the rest.I was busy almost every day, and my classmate Ji Ge in the school asked me to go back to the school to have a look, but I didn't go there either.

I went to see a psychiatrist. His studio was very close to Ji Shanye's house. From the window of a high-rise building, he could see the big banyan tree in front of the house across Santiao Street.

I only glanced at it once, and then turned it away, not daring to take a second look.I am afraid that I will be addicted to the past, and I am afraid of thinking about the sad things with Ji Shanye.

22

2021. 11, 3

The interview with the psychiatrist went well. He said that I looked good and talked with me a lot about my childhood.I found that I seemed less resistant to thinking about the past, and even when I talked about the time when my father was in prison, my mind was at peace.

It seems that psychotherapy is still somewhat effective.

Back to the hotel at night, ready to pack up, I will go back to Fuya Mountain tomorrow afternoon.

It's just that on the way back to the hotel, I always feel that someone is following me.The person's footsteps were neither far nor near, and when I stopped and looked back, there was no one behind.

In fact, this feeling of being followed has existed since the day I first arrived in City B.But at that time, I thought it was just my own illusion, but tonight I always feel that he is following more and more closely, as if he is everywhere.

I quickened my pace and finally breathed out after returning to the hotel.After I went back, I didn’t turn on the light, and secretly lifted a small curtain, looked down from the window of the hotel, and saw a man wearing a black hat and overcoat standing not far downstairs.

It was so far away that I could only see his silhouette.And soon, the man pressed his hat and left.

I think that man looks like Ji Shanye.Although I know that is impossible.

I thought, maybe I just missed him too much.

23

2021. 12, 4

It's snowing on the mountain.

Nothing was recorded.

24

2021. 12, 31

The last day of the year.

It's no different than usual.At this time last year, I was still with Ji Shanye.But this year, that is no longer the case.

I hope Ji Shanye is doing well.I hope he can live happily every day.

2022. 1, 1

I went down the mountain with the senior and the teacher.

We had hot pot outside in the evening as a way to celebrate the new year after.

Even though you are very busy, you still need to find time to relax once in a while.

I worry about the growth status of the plants every day.After entering winter, the most important thing to do is to keep the plants warm.I don't know if the plants in the experimental field can bear fruit smoothly.If not, then we need to start over and stay on the mountain for another year.

It doesn't matter to me, I broke up with Ji Shanye, and I have nothing to lose.For me, there is no difference between being in Fuya Mountain and being outside.

Either way, getting this experiment right is the real business.

2022. 2, 24

Every day is crowded, sleep is sporadic, and the alarm clock is set at three o'clock in the middle of the night to go to the experimental field to observe the data.

The project has reached a critical period, and I am busy except for being busy. I used to dream about Ji Shanye and the previous things in my dreams, but now my dreams are all about the experimental field.

I'm so tired of writing, I don't want to write anymore, so be it.

2022. 3, 6

Got a good new.

The plant seedlings in the experimental field were successfully cultivated. The three of us were jumping with joy on the mountain. The teacher immediately ran down the mountain, called people outside, and planned to send the samples to the laboratory in D City, so that there staff for further research.

I was packing up my things, preparing to evacuate from the mountain and go back to work down the mountain.

We will go back to City B later, and there is a lot of work to be done there.Not sure when I'll be back.

In the evening, the teacher and I chatted with the senior, and he asked us about our future plans.

To be honest, I didn't think so long-term, I just wanted to wait for my postgraduate graduation first. After all, because of the project, my postgraduate graduation has been postponed for a long time.I need to go back to City B to deal with this matter.

The teacher asked me, what about after graduation?

Are you willing to study in country S?He said that he knew the person in charge of a plant cultivation base there, and if he went there, it would be of great help to his future career.

The senior told the teacher that he was very moved. He wanted to go there and asked me if I would go.

I said, I don't know.

I really don't know what my future plans are.For a long time, I have come with the mentality of taking one day at a time.After all, even I don't know whether a mentally ill person has a future.

The teacher said, it doesn't matter, let me think slowly.You can answer him after graduation.

2022. 3, 7

I just saw the message Ji Shanye sent me today.

Are you ok?

The date he sent showed that it was February 2.I think of that period of time as if there was a small earthquake in Fuya Mountain.The experimental field also broke some things because of this.But in fact, it is a very small thing in itself, and I didn't take it to heart.

Probably Ji Shanye saw the news and sent a message to ask me.

I thought Ji Shanye would never contact me again.But I didn't expect that he would come to care about me when something happened?

It turned out that being Ji Shanye's ex-boyfriend would also have benefits.

Thinking about it this way, time really dilutes everything.He probably can handle the relationship with everyone very well, even if he is an ex, he can still care about it.

I was a little hesitant, wondering if I should message Ji Shanye back.After all, a long time has passed.

The validity period of caring has already passed, and Ji Shanye may have stopped caring about my affairs.

But out of politeness, I still replied to him, it's okay, thank you.

I put down my phone and got ready to do other things.But I didn't expect Ji Shanye to come back just a few seconds after the news was sent.

hurt?he asks.

Probably just playing with the phone, come back when you see the message.I thought so, and gave him back, no injury.

That's good.

I thought our topic was over here, and Ji Shanye would not send any more messages.

But soon, Ji Shanye sent another message.Is it ok to accept phone call?